'ILoveU JazzRyL*___

Playing The Piano Again...

2007-03-28T15:04:00.000+08:00

Now that it's summertime already, I 'm dumped with the piano again.. Ugh! It's nice but you know, the "PRESSURE" again.. Plus the fact that my father had just arrived here yesterday after a 3-year stay at Vietnam. You see, I am a daughter of a pianist, and since I was a young girl, I pressure myself practicing the piano just to make my papsie satisfied. Though there were times I'm hard-headed, that I don't want to play the piano again, and that I want to play guitar instead. But my mamsie refused. She said I better be a piano-savvy. Now, I don't have any choice but to follow them. The fact that I can play the piano makes me proud now. A lot of people wants to learn yet no one could ever teach them how. Or, if they want know how, they must have to take piano lessons from schools which may be very expensive. And as they say, I'm so Lucky!

*sigh*...I still have a time to check my Ran Character again... sige, till here! I'll play muna...

Addicted To RAN ONline!

2007-03-26T19:12:00.000+08:00

I just can't understand myself anymore. When RAN Online was introduced to me by my bf last friday, March 23, and then I started playing the game, my God! I got hooked unto it, that I always wanted to play it everyday, every hour. In fact, I played 13 hours straight from 11:54 pm 'til 12:54 pm.

And in fact, before I had posted an entry in here, I played Ran first, about 3hours. My tummy is grumbbling already. I'm starving. (ganito cguro feeling ng mga addict kaya sabi ng mga tito ko, may namatay na daw sa kakalaro ng online games kasi nalilipasan ng gutom. Di na kumakain eh.. hahaha...)

well, anyways, di ako gagaya sa kanila.. And I'll make sure of it. Mapapagalitan lang ako ng bheibhe ko.. hehehe.. I will not make this a routine, just a pastime job nalang. Job talaga ha.. hehehe... cge, text2 muna ako sa mahal ko.. toink!

Finally...

2007-03-23T20:23:00.000+08:00

Finally, I'm through with my exams!! Wala lang, share lang ako.. hehehe... And the classes are officially over!... hehehe...

Simply Surprised!!

2007-03-22T17:11:00.000+08:00

I really love surprises! and again, I was surprised by someone really special for me. It was by BHEI! I wasn't expecting that he will post something in my blog! He knows my password and username kasi! Wow! I really love the poem, so much! hehehe...

Thank you bheibhe ko! Love you a lot!! Mwuaah..

Sorry if I wasn't able to meet with you today, I was making your English project perfectly. Hope you will like it!

Ugh! Anatomy terms really brought me a 'nosebleed' and a 'brain hemorrhage'.. hahaha... but it's OK! I'm still trying to answer them by scanning that huge heavy book.

Cge...I'll finish this project muna.. Till here!!

"Thank You Bhei"

2007-03-22T15:31:00.001+08:00

"Thank You"
bheibhei Daryl

I don't know what I did to deserve you
but I thank the Lord above
that He's given me the gift of you
to share our special love.

Like a favorite blanket on a chilly night
or when I'm feeling blue
Your love wraps itself around me
like a special hug from you.

I love having a girlfriend like you
and I know this much is true.
Of all the people who could have stolen my heart
I'm so happy it was you.

"Love you so much
bheibhei jazz"

lyrad

Wheee...

2007-03-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

I'm with my bheibhe now! haaay... Katatapos lang naming kumain sa BANOKS! Busog na busog nga ako eh, at of course, sya din! Gabi na bah?? Oo!! Hehehe... anyway, I saw my cousin eating din kanina sa BANOKS! hahaha... nagpalibre daw sya.. grabeh talaga yun!

Anyway, gud luck sakin tomorrow sa exams! Till here...

Whew! Wat a Week!

2007-03-21T17:53:00.000+08:00

It is totally a hell week not only for me, but I believe, also for everybody. I am suffering headaches and migraines again because of these scary subjects whose exam coverages are the lessons tackled from the beginning of the semester till the last one. Whew! And we've got projects too. Fortunately, I'm already done with them. Hehehe... I had also a problem about my clearance. I had an argument with some of the officers of our department. They are too slow in entertaining the students that's why we also had a slow time finishing our responsibilities. Glad it's already done. Hehehe... I have just finished my Mathematics and English exams yesterday. Today will be my Chemistry and ReEd exams and tomorrow will be my Psychology and History examinations. Whew!

I also had this bad time with my mathematics exam. Our teacher, Engr. Mercado, kept on looking at me then all of a sudden, tried to go near my seat, took a glimpse at my mathematical solutions, and gave a fake smile. Ugh! I really hate him do things like that. I guess he's just trying to test me, or observing me how I solve those freaky yet easy-to-solve mathematical problems. I'm not bragging but it's just that the whole Math class had dubbed me as Miss Perfect, for I had always got perfect scores in our previous exams. Hehehe... Glad that I really love mathematics. And I'm always interested whenever the topic deals with it.

Anyway, we had a little picture taking on our English Class as a simple remembrance. Hehehe... And the english exam is just right. Hope I could get a high score again, just like my previous english examinations also. Hehehe... Being the highest in the class. I'm not bragging ha.. hehe..

So mush of these stuffs, I had an argument with Mamsie. Huhuhu... but it was fine and okey.

So, till here!!

An Anniv Diary!...and hell weeks nah!

2007-03-19T10:15:00.000+08:00

I made a diary about me and my bheibhe after we had celebrated our anniversary. I love its color. It's bright orange! I added some highlights on it, put some letterings in bright and dark colors and CHARAN!! It's perfect! I decided to make one so that I could be able to say my feelings about him and me after each day we will be together. Sometimes it's kinda hard for me to voice them out personally. It is never easy and I'm scared that disclosing some unnecessary feelings might start a fight between us. So, I told him that we are going to make a diary about ourselves. It might help us. We will let each other read our diaries every monthsary. Hehehe.. We're getting stronger now, constantly learning about what is right between us.

Oh! I really love him so much! And I know and I can feel that he loves me too. Maybe same or much more than mine. He had done more sacrifices than me. That can never be easy, but we both believe that loving is sacrificing.

Basta! I love you bheibhe....

Anyway, it's hell week again! Finals nah! huhuhu... Hope I could get a perfect score in Math and English exams, AGAIN. Semi-finals' results were really good. Got the highest scores in my classes. Wheee... Thank GOD! hehehe...

And it's my bhei's finals too! Please do guide him, Dear Lord! Nursing Course is, I believe, too hard. May he got a good result too.

Till here...! Ingatz!

I LOVE YOU BHEI!!!

2007-03-18T20:01:00.000+08:00

The words you whisper to me,

Are so soft and so dear.

The sound of your voice,

Is like sweet thoughts in my ear.

Your scent melts my body,

Like ice on a hot day.

Your touch sends chills down my body,

Like the first time I met you.

You make me feel special,

You make me feel new,

You make me feel loved,

With everything you do.

You hold me close when I am sad.

You wipe the tears from my face.

Every time we are together,

It seems like the perfect place.

My eyes light up when you walk so near.

I smile when we are together.

No matter how bad things are,

You always make them better.

I love the way you kiss me,

The way you hold me tight.

I love the way you touch me,

I could be with you all night.

I love the way you can make me laugh

For absolutely no reason at all.

I love how no matter what I do,

You will be there to catch me when I fall.

I just want you to know,

That even though we sometimes fight,

I will always love you!

No matter what, day or night.

You are everything to me,

My life; my destiny,

And most of all,

You simply complete me...

_i Love You_

Thank you for the ring that you had given me. I was so glad when you whispered your promises to me when we were at Jack's Ridge gazing the whole city at night. Thank you so much bhei... Mwuah!

Happy AnniVersary!

2007-03-16T20:11:00.000+08:00

I was so happy this day! Finally, we were celebrating our 12-month long relationship! I was super duper happy, and sorry if I'm not too wordy this time. It's just that I can't express it all through words only.

I'm just so Happy!!

NewLy ReFresHed!

2007-03-15T12:20:00.000+08:00

Whohooo.. i've just updated my blog! I've got nothin to do much in here that is why i've decided to update my blog. Huh? Kinda confusing ryt?

Basta! Hir is the newly refreshed blog of mine! You liked it?! Tag me!

A Day With SmiLes

2007-03-13T10:49:00.000+08:00

It may sound crazy but we started the day with sulking faces, out of good moods, and a deafening silence. People around us was so busy. We were both at NCCC Mall foodcourt, sitting. He was busy making his assignment in his Biostat class. And me? Patiently waiting for his words to officially start our conversation. When he's done with it, he turned to me and uttered some words. He asked a request from me and I willingly done it. After a few minutes, we started to talk. It was so cold, as usual. But I didn't care about his coldness anymore. What matters most for me at that point of time was to have a serious talk with him.

Finally, he managed to smile. He even laughed. And that ways had gone on and on. Until his cellphone beeped. It was his classmate. He replied with 'her' message. I noticed it was from a girl. I felt jealousy, yet I tried my best to hide it. He asked me if I was affected and I answered 'No!" though actually, I was. I really was! His mood changed to coldness again. he didn't talk to me with gay again. It was so cold and deafening again.

Finally, I decided to have the first move, asking him what's wrong. He answered none. "Yung totoo bah!", I said. "Hindi ka kasi nagseselos. Gusto ko, magselos ka, tapos maging strict ka, tapos pakialaman mo lahat sakin. In that way, mapoprove ko na talagang mahal mo ko." He acted as if he was sad. So sad. I simply smiled. "OPO!", I answered back.

After that revelation, he became so sweet, funny, and joyful. It was a start of a new beginning. And the day ended with lots of smiles.

Shox! Got Troubled but Not That Much..

2007-03-08T09:53:00.000+08:00

I am now happy. Yep, I felt happiness. We both had talked about us and agreed that we don't want to lose what we had. We just have to understand that things really do change. We just have to admit that we will always have problems not only about those stuffs surrounding us, not only the situation we may have, but also of who we are and what we have on ourselves.

I guess what is lacking is ACCEPTANCE. But it is really hard to accept a person if he/she possesses the hatest thing you don't want to have, to encounter, and even to think.

Now, we tried to change our selfish acts. We tried not to manipulate each others' lives. If one likes to do this, then go as long as it will be for the betterness of the someone.

*sigh*... We are turning 1 year this 16th of March. Despite of the hurtings, grievances, selfishness, and even revenge, one thing I will make sure of, I'LL JUST KEEP HOLDING ON.

I know it will never be easy. But I just have to understand him first why he is doing this, so that he can understand me too.

Good luck to us!

JAZZ-RYL....---***##

February SceNt

2007-02-13T09:34:00.000+08:00

Ugh! Shit!

What a month! I thought this would be really romantic but what happened to me is totally an irony! It's like I am always the loser of the game, the prey of the predator, the nectar of the flower, the ragged doll of a witch, something that is needed to be dumped!

And that was actually what had happened to me, being slowly paralized so that I can never fight back, slowly being numb so that I can never feel pain, totally the victim of fate!

I thought this could make me happy, yet, it isn't. I am really hurting. Perhaps because I feel so unwanted, that I am not needed anymore, that I should better stay away for I will just ruin our situation, I will ruin his heart...his life.

Do I have to choose? Choose between keeping and giving up of who I really am.

I felt pity. This is a Travesty! And it had driven me to grief! I can't felt any belongingness anymore. I should better stay away... and let myself hide into the shadows.. and there, I realized, I can no longer feel pain anymore...

The Scent?? Can't figure out what it really is but there is one thing I'm sure about...

It is never sweet and sensational!

perhaps BITTER!!

Ugh! Crushed Again??!!

2007-01-25T09:09:00.000+08:00

I'm now totally blank. Never know where will I be fetched whenever I'm going to be dumped.

But with these thoughts in my mind, I found myself BLANK!

I agonize my neurons for something to write about. I flip through the pages of my mind. There are random images, fuzzy texts, but nothing solid, nothing coherent. I stumble, running headfirst into a big black wall. As I look around, I see nothing but an endless expanse of darkness. A terrible joke it is to be trapped in this dimension of nihility. Now voices are speaking to me, seemingly out of nowhere. I struggle to listen, but they seem to grow fainter with every second, until the murmurs die out. Silence reigns again. Then here comes despair. Can I feel any worse than this? It is a feeling of being close yet so far... of hopelessness.

I am back to reality, staring blankly at the computer monitor.

Darn! After being sleep-deprived earlier this month and being tormented by something-is-bothering-me project, I'm finding it hard to bring my writing mojo back. To top it all of, I'm currently confined in my lovely home for the holidays. Where the hell can I find sensible stuffs to write about? I almost considered the idea of writing about a heart being hurt is such a piss, but everybody knows that.

Posts filled with meaningless words, punctuation marks and spaces in front of me. I hate writer's block.

Publishing thoughts Again

2006-12-07T10:45:00.000+08:00

And here I am again. Publishing the juicy thoughts I had inside my mind. It's really a long time since I haven't published my blog in here already. And my news of daily life are now stuck up inside my very busy brain. I guss it will take a lot of hours to type it in here. Well, I just have to put a brief overview about what had happened with those good old days.

I and my boyfriend are now declared "LEGAL". He can visit me at home nah and I'm super duper glad. Our parents had talked already about us. Well, we are too much hardheaded. We stick on what we believe and feel. I dunno, but we had really made a lot of sorries to our parents. Yeah. ...*sigh*...

School was fine. Really fine and I just have to fight into another battle. I'm quite inspired but my aim of winning is to prove something that I have and others will say that they are wrong about what they think of me. I'm just so stupid, I admit. Don't ask why. But I am just this Big Fat LOSER! I hate it. That cold hard fact..*sigh*.. it is so hard to admit it.

Hmm.. well, I guess I don't have a choice. It's what fate had brought me into and I just have to live with it. It can quite annoy me but let's have to bear with it. Any mistakes or wrong steps again?? Accept and face the consequences, and there I'll learn from them.

I Am NoT GoiNg tO cLoSe ThiS!! PeriOd.

2006-11-04T11:21:00.000+08:00

I am not going to close this account! Kami parin naman eh... we proved to ourselves that we really want to be with each other's arms.. but the prblem now is this, our parents already knew about our relationship. Dati kasi, we were illegal. Well, i think up to now parin... and our moms had to to each other while I and my bheibhe were away... Daryl thought were going to be legal since our parents knew more about us. But then, when we went home, they decided na paghiwalayin kami... they made us grounded and confiscated our cellphones.. buti nalang we still have communication through the internet... we still keep in touch of course...

and with that, I'm happy to tell you that I'm continuing to publish my thoughts about the both of us here...yet sad also for we're going to be away with each other by distance, that's possible. Patatapon daw ako sa dumaguete... that will be so sad... but I didn't lose hope for we have our promises. Hope that he still sticks unto it.

God knows and God bless us as well as to you, reader! Hehehe..
Good luck saming dalawa!

What a Shit!!

2006-10-05T08:41:00.000+08:00

Now, we're through! Ugh! How can this happen? Is it really my fault coz I decided to break up with him or it's his fault coz he had done something why I decided such thing? Ugh! I just can't believe this! With all those promises, they are all shit! Kainiz!!

And how about this blog? Am I going to close this? You see, iba kaya ang theme ng blog na to! It's about both of us... nakakaasar na nakakalungkot! Ugh! I hate this! My mind is whirling around the ecosystem together with that cold air!

If I'm going to close this blog, you're going to find out soon!

Good Luck to me!

Nakuuu...di natuLoy!

2006-09-08T13:08:00.000+08:00

Kaasar naman! As in super duper nakakaasar! You see, i am so excited kanina for our debate na about that Cartagena Protocol Thing. Pero kasi, there was a debate pa before us, and it took them an hour and a half that's why we didn't get the chance to have our debate kanina. Masaya pa naman yun kasi it is really sophisticated. I mean, it is the government side vs the scientific community.
Here's my argument! against such protocol! I mean, just a part of my argument or speech.

---Cartagena Protocol represents a serious threat to the efforts of public research to create sustainable solutions for the food security and health problems of the developing world. That is, the protocol kept on saying that GMOs or genetically modified organisms do have possible disadvantages and bad effects to the people. They already limit the capability of its practitioners to translate the promise of transgenic technologies into improved quality of life for the poor. They just simply lead to a brain drain. They do not acknowledge that most innovative research in biotechnology is done in public research institutions working towards public goods outputs.

In the meeting of the Parties of the Cartagena Protocol, there was no representation of the scientific community as a stakeholder so there is an absence of a reputable voice of science against to those more than 100 representatives of the NGO community with a rabidly antiscience and antitechnology agenda. Most of them presenting lurid tales about the existing and proven dangers of biotech. There was no single presentation was made anout the promises and the benefits of gentically modified crops.

This campaign is producing a regulatory environment for biotech where its most significant contributions are stalled. Also, part of the part of the problem is that the policy environment for biotechnology is effectively set in the Cartagena Protocol, which is a Multilateral Environment Agreement dealing with essntially agricultural and health issues. It is just a poorly informed platform, almost devoid of serious inputs from the field of reputable biotech and biosafety research.
So, we on the opposition side strongly stresses that the ratification of the Cartagena Protocol is not good. The protocol regulates all trans- boundary movements of living modified organisms resultingfrom modern biotechnology. It drives up food costs of up to 10 million US$ annually, and most of all, it will particularly affect developing countries and will give them a bigger chance to soar up higher.
We, the opposition side firmly stands that the ratification of Cartagena Protocol is not right!!

----Justine Syde Bulacito (BSAM-I, MST5 Student, UPmindanao)

Hahay...masaya tlaga sana!
SAYANG...

DeBate For MST 5 ( Biotechnology aNd SociEty)

2006-09-06T15:51:00.000+08:00

Arrrghh... I'm surfing the search engine of Yahoo! again. I just dropped a post here on my blog.
And it's all about my incoming debate in my MST5 class.
It just deals more 'bout the Cartagena Protocol, whether it must be ratified or not. Well actually, we've already have heared that Philippines already had ratified such protocol last July 7,2006. It was signed then six years ago, year 2000.

About the debate, hmm.. I'm assigned to stand on the contrary. Glad that Doc. Eufemio Rasco, our Biotech and Soc professor, stands same to us. He was onced interviewed about such protocol.

I dunno when will we have this debate.But for sure it's pretty sooner than expected, that's why we have to be geared up about such matter. It is still on debate between the scientific community and the government side.

At first, the debate was about the Philippines ratifying Cartagena Protocol; whether we have to ratify it or not to ratify, and to scrap or not to scrap. But now, since the Philippines had already ratified it through the Senate,our debate turned out to be about a big question:

"Did the Philippines do the right thing about ratifying such protocol?"

My stand: Not Right! I'm on the Contrary!
But by the way, do you know already what Cartagena Protocol is?
The Cartagena Protocol is an international agreement on biosafety. It makes clear that products from new technologies must allow developing nations to balance public health against economic benefits. In the agreement, countries can ban imports of genetically modifeid product if they "FEEL" that there is not enough scientific evidence that the product is safe. The new rules are complex,and many may be subject to legal challenges or interpretations.
According to our professor, Doctor Eufemio Rasco, the Cartagena Protocol on Biosafety was created by framers on the wrong assumption and that it is obsolete.

So, what do youthink?Is it right that Philippines had ratified the Protocol? Help me think about it!

AnD it's Just So Nice

2006-09-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

Hehehe...we went home walking after watching a movie..
we spent our time sharing jokes and some other funny stuffs about school..
masaya tlga ako with him.. i just can't explain why.. he's the only person who makes my heart beats faster and slower at the same time! hehehe...
he never fails to paint a smile on my face... wala lang..ewan ko bah... kahit wla naman syang ginagawa, even just his presence, masayang- masaya na ako...

and suddenly, the rain started to fall... malamig kaya that night.. maybe that was at 12:05 in the midnight... hahay.. tapos, he's at my side, just simply holding my hand tapos bigla nyang binitawan..for that, di nalang ako kumibo..but inside my mind there plays a big wonder..."bakit kaya?".. and umaambon nga but i was just shocked when even just a single drop did not even reach my head kasi kinuha nya ung polo nya tapos inilagay nya sa may ulo ko..whoow..he's really sweet..

hahaii...nice to have him! i'm just blessed!

Till next time! Ciao!

WhAt A ChEeRdAnCe Sh*t!

2006-09-01T11:50:00.000+08:00

It is so jady...
Practices everyday that start at 1pm and will end @ 12 midnight...
So, mahirap talaga sa cheerdanicing...
but we don't have a choice, it is what the tradition is...
We must sacrifice, we must do it, for we MUST!
it's in the history already that BS Applied Mathematics team is always on top on DULA Cheerdance competitions.
Even though our bodies suffer so much pain, sweats trickling on our faces, we must continue practicing to be able to come up a "perfect cheerdance presentation!".

It's fun though..
we get to bond with our course upperclassmen...
and it's nice to have some small talk with them with regards to being an AMAT student...
They gave advices and warnings, yet the last common word that they let us carved in our minds is "ENJOY!"

i already enjoyed it...yeah it is so fun!
still the stunts and steps is a whole lot shit!
Hahai...mahirap nga tlaga sa UP.. pero....

MASAYA!!

" UNA-IBA-EDA-SA-IDA-ADA
NAGA-PAI-LAI-PAI-NA-ASA
U-nibersidad Ng Pilipinas
Matatapang, Matatalino
Walang Takot Kahit Kanino
Hindi, Hindi Magpapahuli
Ganyan Kaming Mga Taga-UP. "

HaPpY MonSaRy aGain!!

2006-08-16T12:56:00.000+08:00

it's so nice and i am so happy today!
hehehe..
obviously, monsary na naman namin!
wheee..
Luv u poh!
You know who you are!
Mwuah!

LiFe aS a FreShMaN AMAT stUdeNt iN UP

2006-08-15T11:36:00.000+08:00

It is never that easy!
Everyday is hell day! Period!

Though my class days are only from Tuesdays to Fridays, it seems like my body suffers a schedule of 7days of classes.
Tuesday and thursday classes are quite light ot attend to. I only have three subjects on such days. Those are Math 17 (college Algebra and Trigonometry) at 10:00am-11:30am, AMAT 19 (Finite Mathematics) at 11:30am-1:00pm, and PE 2 (Table Tennis) at 2:30pm-3:30pm.
Yeah...we are dismissed early but then my brain is always crying for help.
There will always be loads of math assignments and upcoming quizzes.
Long exams in these subjects are more than those of Super Math Quiz Bees I had participated before in my elementary and high school times.

Professors in UP are really good in teaching.
They gve concrete examples by giving math problems in my math-based classes.
Those examples are elementary, just easy to understand (except AMAT 19..urrgghh..).
But your eyes will really bulge out whenever the question sheet will be handed to you by your prof during the Long Exam Day.
And seeing those numbers and symbols, it seems like your memory will sudeenly shut down.
But I musn't 'causeI have to pass that damn subject.
(i always wonder why i have this feelings towards math which happens to be my favorite subject!)

Wednesdays and Fridays are the heavy days of me being an AMAT student in UP.
I've got four subjects only but each consumes one and a half hours lecture.
Those are MST 5 (Biotechnology and Society) at 7:00am-8:30am, Math 17, AH 3 (Speech Communication) at 11:30am-1:00pm, and SSP 2 (History of Asia) at 2:30pm-4:00pm.
Each subject gives us a headache. In fact my migraine attacks me more often nowadays
But I just need to pass each course for me to be able to reach the next step.
It's Hard! Really Hard!
All I need is to strive harder and harder, always exert effort always do my best! Very Best!

Undoubtedly, UP gives so much pressure to each student but indeed, it has the best quality education.
It's not easy to be a part of the family- UPians or the so-called "mga ISKOLAR NG BAYAN".
Since it is the premier state university, entry inhere requires brains and guts.
True it is, as what people say, the long eams of other universities are only quizzes and seatworks in UP.

But for me, life in the University of the Philippines is by choice.
It is up to you if you would like to swim or sink.
But me?
No matter how really hard it is,
how many times it gives me headache,
how it worsten my migraine,
how my body suffers a lot because of loads of assignments and projects,
how my days are always hell days,
I'll make it sure, I WILL NOT SINK!!
I'll exert all my best efforts in swimming 'till I reach my goal of SUCCESS!

Life is always difficult and full of challenges.
And that's what UP really offers.
To make us feel what really life is.
To conclude, whether you're an AMAT student or whatever course you have, is just the life of what a living Filipino soul has.

cAn'T sLuMbEr tHiNkiNg oF HiM...

2006-08-12T14:54:00.000+08:00

**~ waaah...i was so shocked when my sorority sis commented bout this article i posted at my friendster blog...grrrr...mejo nahiya ako kasi he knew the guy i had! ~**

it's nice...it's cold..it's surprising!
he was there waiting up for me after I had an exam in our school..
he's just there patiently waiting...
i saw him but i never dared to approach him..
i don't know...
i enjoyed seeing him alone waiting for me...
i know and i agreed with what they say...
ABUSADA NA AKO!
i just don't understand....
yeah i need him but i still can't believe if he really do loves me more than himself..
that's what he keeps on telling me..
i can sense it though but i still am not yet convinced...
i was hurt for two times...
cried lots of tears... with sleepless nights thingking about the pasts i had with those two damn guys..
i don't want to have the third time again...
i surely say to myself i'm totally dumb, fool if i'm going to let myself be hurt again...
but then oh yeah...
I Love Him...
i knew he loves me more than what i felt for him...
it's obvious!!
with how he stares at me,
with how he speaks,
with how he had his sacrifices...
and with that guy i saw standing alone, i approached...

he greeted me with such usual smile!
Cute eyes showing happiness but i still can see the sadness he felt..
he once told me that what he feels reflects on his eyes, and i bet i'm not mistaken!
i held his hand and he squeezed mine...
and the conversation started...

the conversation we had went longer and longer...
and as time passes, the more topic we had, the more words we utter, the more I feel something different...
I DON't WANT HIM TO LEAVE ME JUST LIKE WHAT HE WANTED TOO!!
i don't know but i felt that hope i could have all his time..
time as compared to that moment...
and hope that it will never end...

i guess i already have my answer in his question bout that Jazz-ryl Forever...

Guess i should give him a "YES!!"....(T_T)

dOiNg tHiS BLOG tHiNg

2006-08-10T18:19:00.000+08:00

Whow! doing this blog thing is really not that easy..
huhuhu... that sometimes i wana shut my computer down because of being tired updating it, putting stuffs on it until i'll meet my goal of saying --> "PERFECT!"
it is really tiring! gikapoy na pud ko..
but i dunno!! it seems like this blog of mine do have a magnet that it drags me until i find myself sitting in front of the computer screen..
grrrr...
Bloggy addict ???
i don't think so... hehehe...
No Choice! i just have to finish what i've started! hehehe..LOL!!

WhEeW...

2006-08-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

At last, I've just updated my blog...
quite a difficult task yet it's fun seeing that you gain something from your effort..
hmmm.. My Blog!! It's not that good but just okey..
Ryt?? hahaha...
Till then...
Ciao!

"JaZz-RyL FoReVeR!!"

2006-08-04T11:41:00.000+08:00

At that night we spent together, with the warmest hugz and sweetest kisses..., I was just smiling when my eye met his, but then he lowered his head... I asked why? He looked at me. Slowly, his hands crawled towards mine, he squeezed my hands so tight and suddenly, tears trickled on his cheeks. I just remained silent yet bewildered of what is happening. He knelt down in front of me, closed his eyes, uttered a little prayer and there contained his promises to God that he will never hurt me as long as He's going to guide me always and will never leave him alone. I was too sad seeing him crying. And when he opened his eyes, it went to mine. He simply hugged me, gave me a smack and asked, "Can you please stay with me?? Can we have JAZZ-RYL forever??"...I answered him with a smile, hugged him back at moments after, I found myself with tears on my cheeks...

I jUsT CaN't sLeEp...

2006-07-31T17:21:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep.
I don't exactly know why. They say that it happens when you have too much in your head, your mind won't rest, and so your body. Or it can be that when your mind wouldn't simply go to cease, even if your body already has.
It seems as if an intense storm has managed to pierce through the silence of my night, the break of my mind. The battleground is my soft bed, my should-be heaven....

i'Ve been thinking Bout ThiS sTory For 2 hours...

2006-07-18T16:29:00.000+08:00

I've bEen tHinking of this story for two hours...
and after then, tears flowed on my cheeks...
yeah! it made me reminisce the revelation of my boo when I onced decided to break-up with him.. he said he suffered same experience.. here's the story goes...

Title: ONE RAINY DAY
by sidney

check it out @ FeAtUrEd StOrY

StArT Up!

2006-06-15T15:51:00.000+08:00

I always feel sorry to write some of the things I had out of the drippings in my mind on some crumpled papers. now, i decided, i better write my thoughts on a page ONLINE! here i am! starting to produce a blog! hope this one works. i mean, this strategy of sharing, expressing my thoughts and feelings!
it's me outta hir! the girl at the right! JUSTINE SYDE BULACITO! hehehe...